


I know I'd die without you

by delightfuls



Series: free with you, like with no else [3]
Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M, but this is not related to it, new episode made me want to commit!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 15:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21304298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightfuls/pseuds/delightfuls
Summary: She kisses his fingers as a promise.
Relationships: Diana Barry/Jerry Baynard
Series: free with you, like with no else [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1518431
Comments: 9
Kudos: 96





	I know I'd die without you

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters in this fic are 18.

It starts like this: a boy and a girl, girl is from a higher class while the boy can only see her from up above.

* * *

Diana thinks she _ likes _ him. When she goes on her quest to freedom and ends up in his home by accident, she _ thinks s_he likes _ him _ and _ his family _ a bit more. But Diana _ knows _she likes him, when he shows up to walk her home.

The whole thing causes her to freeze. Her mother would never approve _ god _ she’d be furious and- but then she looks up at him, and he’s so honest in his gaze, that her heart clenches. She _ likes him _, because him hurting hurts her, deeply. 

She does feel guilty for liking him. Thoughts of her mother’s disgusted gaze and how she looked at the Baynards haunt Diana’s dream that night.

* * *

Guilt follows her through their whole relationship, or rather non-existent relationship as far as the public knows.

Guilt over lying to her mother, guilt over disobeying her mother, guilt over him, and lying to him about how she actually feels. But he doesn’t say anything. Not a single word about how she avoids him at public functions, not a thought on how she hasn’t told Anne. 

Guilt plagues her as she kisses Jerry behind the festivities of the fair, as Anne’s heart breaks for Gilbert. 

Guilt plagues her but he holds her hand, through it all and eventually when they’re 18, she thinks she might be able to shield him from her mother’s wrath and the world’s judgmental gaze until the end of their days. 

It lets her breathe a bit.

Until he says something.

* * *

Her parents and Minnie May have left for the week to take care of issues in relation to their exports in Toronto, and trusted their eldest daughter, Diana enough to leave her alone in the house with their maid. Of course that wasn’t very wise of them. Because whether they’re here or not she’s always drawn to him. 

It comes up abruptly, when she creeps into his family home to drag him out so they can watch the sun set. 

“You can’t even tell Anne? Diana, of all people she would understand the most.” He says, while looking at the night engulf the sun. 

And he’s right, Anne _ would _ understand the most, and would support them despite it all but the little voice in her head that coincidentally sounds very much like her mother, whispers to her that _ no you cannot. _

And so their little get away ends terribly, with her screaming at him and him defending their relationship, 

In the end, he leaves her with one question: 

“If everything que _ nous avons vécus _ is based on where I am and where you are, or how badly people around us _ va nous voir, _ then why- _ pourquoi _ did you tell me to walk you home that day?”

When she doesn’t answer, he walks back into his home, while his sister, who has grown so much since that night in their house, peeks through the door.

_ “Pourquoi did you let me walk you home that day?” _

_ He remembers..Of course he does _..

And so does she, but she understands why he remembers it more vividly than her, because he took a risk, and said to hell with everything else, because of her. 

And of course he’s right, she let him, because she appreciated him very much, to the point that well..Look at where they got.

She feels tears rolling down her cheek as she walks away.

* * *

The sky is darkening, blue seeping into black, when she stops walking. She finds herself in front of the Cuthbert home. Knowing her parents are nowhere near, Diana knocks and lets herself fall into her friend’s arms.

_ “Oh Diana _, what happened?” Anne asks while rubbing a hand down her back soothingly.

She sobs into Anne’s shoulder. She feels terrible, horrible even for having let her mother guide her life to the point where she can’t even be honest with her best friend and him. 

Anne pulls her into the house and closes the door gently. 

* * *

Anne washes her face, takes off her coat and sits her down her bed and combs through her slowly to detangle the mess caused by her running and her tears. 

After a moment she stops, and pulls Diana into the crook her neck, “What happened to _ my _dear Diana?” She asks.

Diana closes her eyes and wills herself not to cry and not hide anymore. “I think I love him..” she says in a whisper. 

“What?” Anne exclaims. Surprised with a pinch of glee in her voice, but Diana does not feel glee. 

“I’ve done something horrible to the people I love….You- _ You _ I have lied to for so long and him, Jerry- God I feel horrendous!” She starts crying again. Her friend wraps her arms around her and rocks her gently to calm her down. 

Anne kisses the crown of her head and whispers, “So it was more than a One Time Acadian Affair?” Diana nods. 

After several minutes, Anne pulls back and looks at her while interlacing their fingers. “Diana, my dearest Diana, I am filled with joy to know you have happiness with someone, and the fact that this someone is Jerry, makes me proud and happy, while he might be quite infuriating, he is a good man, and- and I understand why you kept it from me, while it does hurt me to know you have kept it for so long I know how horribly afraid you were that your mother or anyone else had heard about it. But you must take into account Jerry’s feelings too, you must not hide your very valid feelings for him. 

And with that Diana knows in her heart that while the rest is far more complicated the fact that she has Anne and that she likes- loves him. 

She wipes her tears and asks Anne for a favour. 

* * *

As she asked Anne, Jerry finds himself at her porch the next day.

“Why am I here Diana..?” Is the first thing he says, as she leads him to her empty house. 

The floorboards creak under their weight as she leads them to her room.

“I told Anne.” She lets out closing the door and pushing her back to it. He smiles a bit before, his face goes emotionless again, as if he had forgotten for a second he was hurt and mad. 

“She was more than happy for us, in fact she even said she didn’t know what I saw in you, but that- that it was sweet...”

“And I want you to know, that- That you were right about feeling like I was hiding you, because I was..” She lets out slowly waiting for his reaction. 

“But- she interjects, I was misguided by the thoughts of my mother, and society that I did not think of the privileges I was given and that you were deprived of...We are not different, we are the same, Jerry. Money and extravagant words do not make you less worthy, you are worthy, you are important, you are worthy of me. While I am not worthy of you.”

He looks everywhere but at her. 

“_Please, Jerry_...Look at me?” She pleads. She knows she’s ready for the next step.

Taking a deep breath, she looks at him one last time, before turning her back to him and untying her hair. She pushes her hair to the side and slowly starts undoing the strings of her dress. She hears his footsteps across the wooden floorboards of her room, he catches up to her before it loosens. He stops her hands from continuing on.

“Diana .. No we shouldn’t, _arrête_..” His hands are shaking on top of hers. 

She turns and sees him looking to the side, he’s respecting her, her body, her home, her space, her mother’s words, her wishes, 

But this isn’t about her mother or what her mother implemented in her head, or what others think, it’s about them, about him. 

She guides his face to hers, he follows almost immediately. She knows this must be uncomfortable for him seeing how he’s almost 3 heads taller than her, but he just leans into her even more, his back bending, and his forehead touching hers. 

“Diana, nous ne sommes pas obligés..”, he says and she can feel his breath.

“I- I know but- this isn’t about anyone else, it’s about you and me, I think- I- Je crois que je _t’aime_.” 

And he doesn’t say anything for a while, just staring at her. Then in a second he covers her mouth with his. And she feels free, alive. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him further down and kisses him until she’s gasping against his mouth. 

He pulls back slightly to ask her once again with his eyes if she is okay with what they are about to do. And she nods. He takes her hand, drawing circles on the back of it before lifting it up to his lips. And her heart melts a bit. 

His lips brush over her sleeves and creeps up to her neck before he pushes down her dress off her shoulders. And she is beyond grateful her parents are not here, that her mother is not here.

Before he can fully push off her dress she pulls back and touches his sweater, he immediately takes it off and dives back down to kiss her enthusiastically. And all is suddenly forgotten.

She loves him, and he loves her, the rest?_ The rest is yet to be written and seen. _

* * *

She traces his skin in a delicate manner, scared she’ll break him while his thumbs brush lightly against the top of her shoulders. Slowly he walks her to her bed and sits her down. Moving down on his knees to compensate for their height difference. He finds himself in front of her now almost at the same height. He brings his face close to hers, noses brushing, breath mingling with hers. 

His hands do not move down, she notices. Before her mind can come up with any inappropriate reaction to his lack of touching, he kisses her. Like really kisses her. it’s devouring, it’s life consuming, and she involuntarily, let’s out noises she has never heard herself make before. She thinks she quite likes it.

They separate once but only to breathe for the sake of staying alive. Before she knows it her back is pressed against her headboard and his hips are between her thighs. 

His lips fall to her neck where she feels him heaving. He mouths slightly at the skin of her neck, while her arms hold him close and her fingers tug lightly on his hair. They stay that way for what feels like an eternity, an eternity she would give anything to live for the rest of her life. But her blissful thoughts are interrupted by him shifting. He moves until they’re eye to eye, scanning her face from the corner of her eyes to the dip of her lips. 

He touches them with his fingers, slowly tracing each and every fine line. “Teach me...Talk to me and be honest, because Diana I don’t think _ my heart peut subir la peine de te perdre.. _” He whispers.

She kisses his fingers as a promise.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so. That episode killed me and my hopes and dreams, it was beyond and this fic was written before it, I forced myself to finish it because I knew that I would not touch it after this episode. Jerry deserves better and I think Diana does like him but like its not okay what she did what she said. Hopefully Anne and Diana become friends again and Jerry and Diana have a talk that opens the door to an actual good romance, estranged exes back to lovers trope. Not proofread because I am so sad.
> 
> Next thing I am writing with them is going to be from Jerry's POV.


End file.
